All content copyright © 2026 Frank Revelo and CESDance LLC, www.cesdance.com
Most important thing and only thing you need to remember from this lesson is that everything we discuss here is also discussed on our website, where it is better organized and with additional details. So no need to understand or remember everything we discuss in this lesson. Just read the transcript of the lesson for beginners on our website at: www.CESDance.com. Included in that transcript are links to some YouTube videos which demonstrate the style of dancing which we teach and which we expect you to use when dancing. Please study those videos carefully.
You are welcome to read our website or watch those videos instead of listening to the lesson, provided you turn volume on your smartphone off first. While on this topic, let's have everyone put their smartphone on silent mode, and keep it on silent mode until leaving the dance party premises. Thank you.
Lesson consists of a lecture followed by a practice dancing period. Because the lecture is always the same, you are welcome to come late to lesson in the future and only attend the practice dancing followed by the dance party.
We strongly encourage dancing in close embrace, and preferably in square-shaped close embrace with light apilado, as demonstrated in the videos below, for all types of music we play at our dance parties, not just tango music.
Unidentified young couple dance in close embrace at Buenos Aires milonga: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3nr-cry0hc.
Ismael Heljalil and unidentified dance in close embrace at Buenos Aires milonga: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_ozbfJECXY.
Irma Barrientos y Jorge De Gouvea dance in close embrace at Buenos Aires milonga: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtXEjJGQ-7I.
Rubén Harymbat and Maria Plazaola dance in close embrace: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjZaCaPg2qc.
Pedro Sanchez and Rosanna Remon dance in close embrace to Tango, Milonga and Vals music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4cHAE_bqNs.
Ruben and Teressa dance in close embrace to Candombe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hx81RhyPXk. This bouncy style of dancing would also work for music we categorize as Swing, Salsa or Samba.
Close embrace dancing at a European (Slovenia) tango event: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMqgDtPAKs0.
"Balboa" style dancing to swing music uses close embrace: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6hfm8zmgBI.
Explanation and demonstration of close embrace by Carlos Neuman and unidentified partner: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19X5RENEhgk.
Close embrace social dancing is far removed from classical ballet, however discussion of musicality in following video (starting at 6:01) might help in understanding what this current document means by that term ("...dancers with strong musicality time movements perfectly to match accents in the music, know when to stay on beat and when to go off it, and most importantly, can make audience [partner if social dance] feel something through their movements..."): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vni148KpCx8&t=361s.
Close embrace is the most common dance embrace used at traditional center city Buenos Aires tango social dancing venues, and also at tango dance events worldwide. In the tango dancing community, what we call "close embrace" is sometimes called milonguero embrace, apilado embrace, or "estilo del centro" (Spanish for "style of center [of city]"). However, there is dispute among tango dancers as to the exact meaning of these terms and there are other embraces and dance styles used for social dancing to tango music in Buenos Aires, both at center city and outer district dance venues, besides close embrace. Finally, not all the music we play is tango music. For all these reasons, we prefer our own terminology, without reference to tango.
Note that many of the rules of behavior that we expect to be observed at our dance parties, such as dance floor navigation rules and cabeceo/mirada invitation protocol, are also similar to rules at traditional center city Buenos Aires tango social dancing venues, where such rules are called "codigos" (Spanish for "codes" [of behavior]). And these rules are also common at tango dancing events outside Buenos Aires.
Note also that it has always been common at traditional Buenos Aires milongas (name of tango dancing events, and also, confusingly, the name of a type of music closely related to tango) to mix tango and other types of music. In the 1940's, which was the Golden Age of tango music, tandas (or groups of songs danced as a set at a milonga) of tango music alternated with tandas of Swing (Jazz) music. Both types of music were typically danced in close embrace. Sometime after 1950, tandas of rock-and-roll music replaced the swing tandas. Rock-and-roll is mostly danced in Buenos Aires using separated embrace. Later, many milongas added tandas of Salsa and other Latin music, sometimes called tropical tandas, which are danced in separated embrace, similar to how Salsa music is danced elsewhere. Finally, there are often Chacharera (Argentine folk music) tandas, which are danced without direct bodily contact between men and woman. Our only deviation from Buenos Aires traditions is to restore the swing tandas and to dance in close embrace for all the music we play, not just tango music.
Social dancing can be contrasted with: (1) performance or stage dancing, where the goal is to please an audience of spectators; (2) sport dancing, where the goal is to exercise and improve one's skills and perhaps impress an audience of judges if competition sport dancing; (3) self-focused dancing, where the goal is to enjoy simply moving our body to music. In social dancing, our focus is on our partner, not on any audience of spectators or judges seated around the dance floor, and also not on ourselves. [Solo dancing at a rave while surrounded by other people solo dancing is social behavior however our use of the term "social dancing" always means "partner dancing".]
Not everyone who comes to our dance parties is interested in connecting to a variety of partners by dancing with them in close embrace. Some come simply to listen to the music, engage in conversation and watch other people dance. Other people come with an existing relationship partner and plan to spend the whole evening dancing with just that partner.
(!!! Note that our social dance party is a perfect place for taking someone on a date, assuming both partners know the basics of dancing. So even if you decide you aren't interested in regular attendance at social dancing events, being able to social dance might be a very useful skill in the future, which is a good reason to at least learn the basics.)
Majority of people who social dance have one of the following truly social motives:
First, single people commonly use social dancing to seek out prospective mates and evaluate them for sexual compatibility. We call this the mate-seeking/evaluation motive. In the past, mate-seeking/evaluation was the primary motive for social dancing, because young women were carefully chaperoned before marriage, so that social dancing was the only way to evaluate prospective husbands for sexual compatibility. Modern society is less restrictive about sex prior to marriage, however nowadays we have another issue. Namely, many people nowadays are frustrated by the limitations of online dating, where all they have to evaluate prospective mates is a photograph, possibly a heavily photoshopped or even faked photograph, and a few lines of text description. There is no way with online dating to know how a person smells, what their voice sounds like, how they feel to the touch, or what their inner personality is like, and yet these are all more important factors than visual appearance in determining the success of a long term relationship. By contrast, social dancing allows evaluating both visual appearance and these other factors, in just a few minutes of dancing with a potential mate.
Note that we are happy to see a constant flow of new faces at our dance parties and disappearance of familiar faces, because we assume many of these disappeared familiar faces had mate-seeking/evaluation as their motive and disappeared because they found the mate they were seeking and so no longer have use for our dance parties. As explained elsewhere, our rationale for encouraging a simplified dance style is also related to the mate-seeking/evaluation motive. Namely, people with that motive typically do not want to spend too much time learning complicated dance styles.
Second, some young people lack social skills to interact effectively with the opposite sex. Either they present themselves as awkward and sexually unattractive, or they are unable to competently judge other people's sexual compatibility. Social dancing can help develop skills with the opposite sex that these young people lack, so we call this the social-skills-development motive, which is usually combined with the mate-seeking/evaluation motive. One of the best ways for young people to develop social skills with the opposite sex is via interactions with people who are not seen as prospective mates, because this reduces performance anxiety. Thus we highly recommend that both young men and young women, even if seeking a single and sexually compatible mate their own age, to practice dance with older partners, married partners, and other types of dance partners who are not seen as prospective partners for long-term intimate relationship.
Third, some people engage in social dancing because they want bodily contact with other humans, especially of the opposite sex, but without an intimate relationship. We call this the embrace-seeking motive. Some people with this motive are unable to meet anyone who meets their standards for partner for intimate relationship, while others have no desire for intimate relationship (perhaps because they are ill) but do want bodily contact with other humans. In these cases, close embrace dancing is substitute for intimate relationship. Other people with this motive are currently in an intimate relationship but are not receiving bodily contact they desire (perhaps because partner is ill) or they want bodily contact with other people than their intimate partner but do not want to be sexually unfaithful. In these cases, close embrace dancing is supplement to intimate relationship.
Fourth, some people use social dancing to socialize and communicate with other people using the sense of touch instead of exclusively communicating via speech, which is overly emphasized by language-oriented humans as compared with other social mammals. We call this the non-verbal-conversation motive.
Fifth, some people want to learn about the inner nature of other people, which we call the curiosity-satisfying motive. This motive differs from embrace-seeking and non-verbal-conversation motives in that curiosity-satisfying implies preferring quantity and novelty of dance connections to quality of dance connections, whereas those with embrace-seeking and non-verbal-conversation motives typically prefer repeat dances with known compatible partners. Curiosity-satisfying often precedes these other motives, since we must first discover compatible partners before repeat dancing with them.
Mate-seeking/evaluation and social-skills-development are the most common motives for younger people who are new to social dancing. Embrace-seeking and non-verbal-conversation are the most common motives for older people who regularly attend social dancing events. Curiosity-satisfying is a common motive for first time dance with a previously unknown partner, regardless of age.
There is considerable overlap between motives in above classification scheme. Other schemes might list more or less than 5 motives for social dancing, and/or use different descriptiors than those above. For example, here is an alternative scheme with 4 categories of dancers: (1) single and looking for intimate partner; (2) currently have intimate partner and dance exclusively with that partner (couples in honeymoon phase of relationship); (3) currently have intimate partner but no longer dance exclusively with that partner (couples past honeymoon phase of relationship); (4) single and not looking for intimate partner, so only interested in dancing and socializing.
First factor is music being played. Closely embracing a compatible partner, while listening to music both of you enjoy, should be enjoyable without complicated dance movements. But music you enjoy is essential for this to work. Organizers of this dance party put considerable effort into choosing music that we feel is enjoyable to listen and dance to. However, musical tastes can differ. If you don't like any of the music we play, situation is hopeless. Whereas if you like some of the music we play but not all of it, then only invite someone to dance or accept an invitation if the music playing is something you like.
Second factor is compatibility with partner. Closely embracing a compatible partner, while listening to music both of you enjoy, should be enjoyable without complicated dance movements. But a compatible partner is essential for this to work. So be careful about who you invite to dance or whose invitations you accept. Not dancing is better than dancing with an incompatible partner.
Third factor is embrace. Walking in close embrace is not a difficult skill, but it is not trivially easy either, and does require practice to master this skill. The best practice is by dancing with lots of different partners here at our dance parties. You can also take group or individual lessons where the instructor can identify common errors in your walking embrace and suggest improvements.
Fourth factor is musicality. In the leader, this involves converting music into dance movements that are more sophisticated than those of a simple walking close embrace while stepping on beat. Such sophistication can be achieved either by adding complexity in time or complexity in space. We will discuss these two options in more detail later. In the follower, musicality means ability to understand and appreciate the leader's conversion of music into dance movements.
Fourth factor of musicality, or active interpretation of music, is different from first factor of passive enjoyment of music. It is quite possible to enjoy listening to music but not know how to convert the music into close embrace movements. Good musicality requires the ability to anticipate where the music is going, which in turn requires deep familiarity with either the particular musical recording being played or the general style of the composer, arranger and musicians of that song and recording. In particular, the dance leader must be able to plan his movements a few seconds in advance so that they match the music when it arrives. Both leader and follower need to develop a strong emotional response to dance music and to the relation between dance music and bodily movement. Dance musicality can only be developed by listening extensively to dance music at home and by dancing extensively to that music at dance events. It can take a lifetime to fully develop dance musicality, which is why the best tango social dancers (as opposed to performance dancers) in Buenos Aires are typically older than age 60. On the other hand, Mozart was composing sonatas at age 6, and likewise there are social dancers with natural musical talent who can develop dance musicality much faster than average.
Underlying the four factors just discussed is the concept of connection: connection to the music, connection to our partner. We connect to music we like by converting that music into dance movements. We connect to a partner we like using square-shaped close embrace with light apilado.
Before we can embrace our partner, we must first learn to stand with correct posture: erect, muscles slightly firmed in core, chest lifted, weight slightly onto the front of the feet at all times, whether walking forwards or backwards. Keeping the weight on the front of the feet when walking backwards is especially important for women to master, because women normally walk backwards during the dance and keeping the weight forwards while walking backwards is not natural for most people.
When walking forwards, you can step either heel first or front of foot first. Heel first while leaning forwards from the ankles will likely feel unnatural to most modern men, however this style of walking was common among Argentine men in the past, perhaps because they wore higher heels than in most modern men's dress shoes. Stepping onto the front of the foot is perfectly acceptable and will usually feel more natural for men wearing typical modern men's dress shoes, or wearing ballet flats with zero heels.
Men and women embrace by connecting at the torso, with light pressure between torsos (apilado, which is Spanish for "piled up" in the sense of torsos piled up and thus leaning against one another) and with the woman slightly to the right side of the man so she can look over his shoulder. There should be slight pressure between the sides of the man's and woman's heads.
Torso to torso embrace with apilado is very intimate, perhaps too intimate for many people from non-Latin cultures, except when embracing an existing intimate relationship partner. If so, as noted previously, all dancing here is by mutual consent. If you would not feel comfortable in close embrace with a particular person, do not invite that person to dance or accept their invitation. It is a violation of etiquette at our dance parties to make an invitation or accept an invitation and not be willing to use close embrace. If your partner commits such a violation of etiquette, feel free to terminate the dance immediately by saying "thank you" and walking away. If you do not want to closely embrace anyone, including same sex partners during lesson practice, feel free to sit and watch. To repeat, all dancing here is by mutual consent.
If the woman is much shorter than the man, there are two solutions. Either the man can use his natural or artificial pot belly to connect with woman, or the woman can turn her head to her right and rest her head against the man's chest. Many women find resting their head against the man's chest to be too intimate, so we encourage men who don't have a natural pot belly to learn to create an artificial pot belly. This is done by inhaling some air and then pushing out with the stomach muscles.
After connecting torsos, we connect arms. For basic/parallel walking system, pressure between man and woman should be primarily through the torso, and arms should be relaxed but yet firmly locked into position. For non-basic/crossed walking system, arms do transmit some pressure, though lead itself is still via torso.
A more precise name for the close embrace just described is square-shaped close embrace with light apilado (sometimes called "parallel" instead of "square-shaped"), because there is also a V-shaped close embrace, in which the woman's torso is twisted slightly to create a V-shape between torsos, and her face is turned towards the man's face, rather than looking over his shoulder, so that her mouth is brought very close to his. V-shaped close embrace is common among professional tango exhibition dancers, because it allows for fancy moves that are difficult with the square-shaped close embrace. Because we focus on social rather than exhibition dancing, this advantage is unimportant to us. And there are several disadvantages to the V-shaped close embrace: (1) it adds to difficulty of learning to dance because now there are two slightly different embraces to learn rather than one; (2) twist of woman's torso is uncomfortable for extended dancing, especially for older and less flexible women; (3) closeness of mouths is very intimate for partners who do not know each other well; (4) closeness of mouths increases risk of transmitting respiratory illnesses, such as flu and covid; (5) closeness of mouths creates awkward situation if one of dance partners has bad breath. For all of these reasons, we discourage use of V-shaped close embrace, though it is allowed.
Another type of embrace which is discouraged is the close embrace with heavy instead of light apilado. With heavy apilado (or volcado, which is Spanish for "tip over, dump"), dancers do not support their own weight but rather lean into their partner for support. Heavy apilado is common in tango nuevo style dancing because it allows for some fancy moves not possible with light apilado. Because we focus on social rather than exhibition dancing, this advantage is unimportant to us. We discourage heavy apilado because it is much more physically tiring than light apilado, causes backaches in untrained dancers, adds unnecessary complications for beginners.
Finally, there is the close embrace that is actually a separated embrace with zero distance of separation, because there is no pressure between torsos (no apilado).
Some common errors in embrace:
In basic/parallel walking system, leader and follower use legs on same side of embrace. Thus if leader steps with his right leg (closed side of embrace), follower steps with her left leg (also closed side of embrace).
In non-basic/crossed walking system, leader and follower use legs on opposite sides of embrace. Thus if leader steps with his right leg (closed side of embrace), follower steps with her right leg (open side of embrace). We will discuss non-basic/crossed walking system steps later.
Basic/parallel walking system steps are as follows: (1) Change weight, so one leg is free to move. (2) Directional step (forwards, backwards, sideways, diagonally) with free leg, including change of weight onto that leg. (3) Rock before completing directional step, with return to original position without change of weight. (4) Pivot while making directional step. (5) Collect/close feet (bring them side by side) after each step. Dance is not affected if feet are not collected after each step, however appearance will be less elegant. It is sometimes impossible to fully collect feet, such as with quick rock steps.
Skill at basic/parallel system walking in close embrace, together with an understanding of dance floor navigation and dance etiquette, is all that is needed to dance at our dance parties.
In addition to straight ahead forwards walking in the basic/parallel walking system, there is also outside walking, where the leader's right leg steps to the right of the follower's right leg. Leader usually needs to take a wide side step to his left while twisting his upper body clockwise (as seen from above) to set up for outside walking. Beginners can always use simpler straight ahead forwards walking instead of outside walking.
Move along line of dance (counter-clockwise as seen from above). If dance floor is large, there may be multiple concentric lines of dance, as with a multi-lane circular racetrack. Avoid passing other dancers. If you must pass, pass on the left (towards center of floor) because the right side is the blind spot of the leader you are passing. Dancers at center of floor may dance in place, however we encourage dancers to avoid the center and follow the line of dance. Avoid bumping into other dancers. Be particularly careful about backwards steps. Be careful when entering the dance floor, if there are already other couples dancing.
Follower usually keeps her eyes open and watches what is happening to the leader's rear and right sides, which are his blind spots. If she sees an oncoming collision, she usually squeezes the leader with her left hand (which is draped over his upper back) or gives some other manual signal. It is also acceptable and common for followers to close their eyes while dancing.
Under crowded conditions, progression along the line of dance comes to a halt due to traffic jams, and dancers are forced to dance in place. Thus all dancers should be able to both progress along line of dance and dance in place. (For musical genres other than Tango, Tango Vals and Milonga, dancing in place is typical and progress along line of dance is the exception.)
Do not walk across the dance floor while dance music is playing and the floor is occupied by other dancers. Instead, walk around the sides of the floor.
Please do not give or ask for instruction/feedback while dancing. If someone really wants instruction/feedback, and you want to help them, you can talk off the dance floor after finishing dancing a tanda of songs. If absolutely necessary (such as safety issues), you can demonstrate (as opposed to merely talking) somewhere away from the dance floor, such as in the hallway, however this is considered disrespectful to the social dancing ambiance and strongly discouraged.
Except for situations of misbehavor, partners are expected to dance the entire tanda together. To avoid being stuck with incompetent/boring partners, observe prospective partners before inviting them or accepting their invitations. Examples of misbehavior during dance which justifies terminating dance prematurely: refusal to use square-shaped close embrace with light apilado (refusal to use close embrace is acceptable at some social dancing events, however our dance parties are clearly labeled as "close embrace"); touching partner inappropriately (breasts, buttocks); endangering partner or other couples with wild movements; giving unsolicited instruction to partner or criticizing partner's dance skills. To terminate dance politely, say "thank you" and walk off.
In addition to saying "thank you" (insincerely) to terminate a dance prematurely, it is also customary for both partners to say "thank you" (sincerely) after an enjoyable dance together.
At traditional Buenos Aires milongas, the man accompanies the woman back to her seat after an enjoyable dance. However, the woman might not have a seat or she might prefer not to return to her seat immediately or she might prefer to return without accompaniment. Leaders must use their judgement as to whether this custom of accompanying the follower back to her seat applies or not.
In Buenos Aires, if a man and a woman enter as a couple and sit together as a couple, it is considered disrespectful for other men to invite the woman to dance, whether directly or by cabeceo, unless the other man knows the couple very well. If the man and woman want to dance with other people, the woman changes seats so that she is sitting separately, to signal that she is open to dancing with other men. When the woman is finished dancing with other men, she can return to her initial seat.
Please minimize rudeness, even when other person was rude first, so as not to escalate conflicts.
Smartphones and other electronics should be kept on silent mode at all times during both lesson and dance party. No ringing, no alarms, no audio of any sort. If you need to make a voice call, you can do so in the hallway away from the dance floor.
There is no rule against staring at your smartphone while not dancing and we will not say anything to people who do this, but it is disrespectful to the ambience of our dance party and we hope you will minimize such behavior. We suggest you experiment with actively (not just passively) listening to the music and watching other people, instead of staring at your smartphone, when you are sitting instead of dancing and need some way to pass the time.
We do not have a dress code currently, but we might in the future. Please dress appropriately for nightclubs that do have dress codes. No ragged tee-shirts, worn blue jeans, sandals, dirty running shoes and similar attire more suitable for working in the potato garden or feeding the pigs than for a nightclub environment.
Remember that we are dancing in close embrace with light apilado, meaning torsos pressed against one another. Avoid wearing clothing that might make this uncomfortable, such as metal adornments on the chest.
Women with big hairstyles should consider tying their hair to the left side, to avoid getting their hair in the leader's face.
Hygiene is obviously important when dancing in close embrace. Please wear clean clothes and be clean and clean-smelling yourself. Avoid using too much perfume or cologne, since some people are allergic to these substances.
Depending on the venue, we may have a plastic tray in the corner with a wet towel inside. If wearing leather sole shoes, you can step on this towel to dampen the leather and make it less slippery, in case the floor is too slippery. (It is absolutely prohibited to use talc to make the floor more slippery. If the floor is sticky, talk to the organizers and we will talk to the venue owner to see if something can be done about the situation. Note that talc is often contaminated with asbestos, which causes long-term lung damage.)
We encourage dancers to dance by mutual consent, as in ordinary nightclubs, versus treating our dance party as a sporting event where all participants must partner with all other participants regardless of whether they want the person as a partner or not. This implies that many invitations to dance will be rejected. To reduce the stress on both men and women of repeated rejection, we recommend dancers use traditional Buenos Aires cabeceo/mirada protocol to solicit, make and accept/reject invitations.
Cabeceo/mirada is a modified version of how men and women ordinarily indicate interest in one another at nightclubs, and greatly reduces the stress of rejecting and being rejected compared with direct invitation/refusal. Direct invitation means one person asks the other: "Do you want to dance?" Direct refusal means the other person replies "no" or makes up a polite excuse as alternative to "no". Even worse than rejection, at least to those of us who value quality of dances over quantity, is grudging acceptance, where someone accepts a direct invitation they don't really want, merely to avoid offending the other person by rejection. Unenthusiastic dancing is typically bad dancing. Furthermore, people who repeatedly accept invitations they don't really want eventually may develop a disgust for our dance parties and stop attending, which is a loss for everyone. It is thus better to make rejection easy, so that all dances are desired dances, and that is what cabeceo/mirada does. (Preceding discussion should not be interpreted to imply that every dance should be with the partner of your dreams. It is perfectly normal to invite or accept an invitation to dance with less favorite partners because that is all that is available and you would rather dance than not dance. The idea is that you want to dance with the other person for at least some reason.)
Cabeceo/mirada protocol works as follows. During the cortina (short period of non-dance music between tandas of dance music), both men and women scan the room and attempt to make eye contact with desired partners. If eye contact is made, and the woman wants to dance with the man, she should maintain eye contact and can optionally smile. Sustained eye contact by the woman is called "mirada" (Spanish for "gaze"). If the woman does not want to dance with the man, she looks to the side and does not smile. Under no circumstances should the woman look down. Looking down indicates strong submissive interest by the woman in ordinary nightclubs but leads to confusion at our dance parties. A woman who has strong interest in a man can stare at him while he is scanning the room during the cortina, to increase likelihood of eye contact.
If eye contact is made, and both man and woman maintain eye contact, and the man wants to dance with the woman, then he invites her by some gesture, such as motioning with his head towards the dance floor ("cabeceo" is Spanish for "head gesture"), perhaps accompanied by a smile. The woman accepts the invitation by nodding, possibly smiling, and continuing to maintain eye contact with the man. Or she can reject the invitation by looking to the side. To reiterate, the woman should not look down, because this leads to confusion at our dance parties.
After the woman accepts the invitation, she should remain in place while the man walks over to her. This detail is important, because there are two possible problems with cabeceo/mirada.
The first problem occurs when 2 women are sitting near one another (side-by-side or one behind the other) and both think they are making eye contact and being invited by the same man. It would be embarrassing if the wrong woman stands up and walks towards the man and the man walks past her to the other woman. Some men will try to avoid causing embarrassment by accepting the woman who stood up, however this encourages aggressiveness in women. The correct way to fix the problem is for the man to walk towards the woman he invited, while maintaining eye contact with her and only her. As he gets closer, it will be obvious to the other woman that she was mistaken about the man's eye contact and thus about his invitation.
The second problem occurs when 2 men are sitting near one another and both think the same woman has accepted their invitations. When both men stand up and approach this same woman, it will be obvious to the men that there was an error. The men should nod to one another as a sign of politeness and then spread apart, so there is distance between them, and then remain in place, while continuing to look at the woman. The woman maintains eye contact only with the man whose invitation she accepted. This man resumes walking towards the woman while the other man returns to his seat.
In crowded situations, where problems with cabeceo/mirada are more likely, it is common for men and women to request confirmation of an invitation or acceptance of invitation by pointing to their chest, as if to say "did you mean me?" The other person then confirms with a nod or looks to the side if there was an error regarding the invitation or acceptance of invitation.
In some nightclubs, line of vision may be limited and both men and women may wander around the sides of the dance floor or around the bar, so as to get clearer view of prospective partners. Rules of cabeceo/mirada still apply. In particular, do not assume that someone walking in your direction is coming to meet you. Instead, first establish eye contact if you want to dance with that person, and avoid eye contact otherwise. Then, if and when eye contact is established, the man can proceed as discussed above by making a silent invitation (head gesture or similar).
Dancing on beat using basic/parallel steps, while listening to music and closely embracing a compatible partner, can and should be an enjoyable experience. However, this is an overly simplified dance. To make things more interesting, we need to add complexity, either in time or in space. We will discuss complexity in time first. But before proceeding, we need some musical terminology:
Staccato music has clear separation between notes. Legato music has smooth connection between notes. Piano and percussion instruments normally create staccato music. Voice and violin normally create legato music, though it is possible to sing staccato or pluck the violin to create staccato sound. Wind instruments, including bandoneón and similar hand organs, can play either staccato or legato.
Strict tempo and Tempo rubato are best explained by reference to piano or other keyboard instrument. Strict tempo is when left hand (which normally plays beat) and right hand (which normally plays melody) play in synchrony (both hands play every note together, right hand plays two evenly spaced notes for every left hand note, other regular relationships between timing of right and left hand notes). Tempo rubato is when right hand sometimes plays with irregular timing relative to left hand, either before or after left hand, thus "robbing" time from one right hand note and giving it to another ("tempo rubato" is Italian for "robbed time"). Analogously, dancing with strict tempo means always stepping on beat (steps correspond to right hand notes), whereas dancing with tempo rubato means sometimes stepping before or after beat, thus robbing time from one step and giving to another. Both musicians and dancers using tempo rubato must frequently return to beat and must maintain constant awareness of beat, otherwise tempo rubato becomes indistinguishable from musical incompetence. Tempo rubato is like salt: a little salt can make a huge improvement in the taste of food, too much salt ruins the food.
Polyrhythm means two different rhythms played simultaneously, thereby creating interference patterns. Again referring to keyboard, if right hand plays 3 evenly spaced notes in the same amount of time that left hand plays 4 evenly spaced notes, this creates 3:4 polyrhythm. Analogously, if dancing 3 even spaced steps while music plays 4 evenly spaced beats, this creates 3:4 polyrhythm between dance steps and musical beat.
Now that we have the necessary terminology, we can proceed. Complexity in time is achieved by irregular step timing. If music has inherent staccato complexity (most milonga, swing, salsa and samba music), start by echoing that staccato complexity with alterating quick, medium and slow steps. If music lacks inherent staccato complexity (most tango and tango vals music), start with polyrhythm relative to underlying beat. For all types of music, apply rubato to step timing such that bodily accelerations/decelerations more closely correspond to legato elements of music. Occasionally, step decisively into musical accents.
(Note that above formula for dancing with complexity in time is a conceptual framework and will interfere with dancing if applied consciously. In practice, leaders should simply listen to the music and convert automatically into movement in a way that feels good for them and their partner.)
Skillful dancing with complexity in time creates a pleasurable feeling of being carried along by waves of musical sound and otherwise connecting very closely to the music. Because there is little disruption to the embrace when dancing with complexity in time, connection to partner will also be very close. And we do not need to learn non-basic/crossed walking system steps. Close connection to music, close connection to partner and less steps to learn are the three advantages of dancing with complexity in time.
Main disadvantage of dancing with complexity in time is the high level of musicality required in both leader and follower, but especially leaders, to produce acceptable results. Musicality typically develops naturally by carefully listening to and dancing to dance music. Some people have innate musical talent and develop dance musicality quickly. Others develop dance musicality very slowly.
Tango music has a strong 1234 marching beat, with primary stress on beat 1 and secondary stress on beat 3, so lacking inherent staccato complexity. The most straightforward way to dance with complexity in time to tango music is via a polyrhythm to the underlying beat. 3 dance steps in 4 beats of music, or 3:4 polyrhythm, is the simplest polyrhythm and can be repeated to give 6:8 polyrhythm. This and the slower 5:8 polyrhythm, together with alternating 5:8 and 6:8 polyrhythms, are the polyrhythms most commonly used by those who have mastered dancing to tango music with complexity in time. Sustained 7:8 polyrhythm will typically feel excessively fast for tango music from our playlists, however an occasional phrase danced at 7:8 tempo might feel right.
To develop skill at dancing polyrhythm, practice to each of the following polyrhythms, while counting beats aloud or using a metronome to sound beats: 3:4, 5:4, 6:4, 5:8, 6:8 (3:4 repeated twice), 7:8, 9:8. Obviously, tempo of metronome will be much slower for 6:4 than 5:8. If difficulty dancing higher polyrhythms like 7:8 and 9:8, try using visual brain to count steps while audio brain counts beats. Then practice switching between similar speed polyrhythms, such as between 5:4 and 6:4 or between 5:8, 6:8 and 7:8. Then turn on music and dance polyrhythm suitable for musical tempo. Then practice switching between polyrhythms to music. Then apply rubato to the polyrhythm.
Tango vals, like all vals/waltz music, has an underlying 3 beats per measure "OOM-pah-pah" rhythm. However, because tempo is fast, and unstressed "pah" beats are not readily audible, and measures are grouped into phrases of 4 measures, dancers count tango vals 1234, by only counting stressed "OOM" beats. To dance with complexity in time, start with 5:4 or 6:4 polyrhythm then apply rubato.
Milonga rhythm sounds like "ca-fé-con-pan", with stresses on beats 1-1.5-2.5-3.5 (intervals of 2446 quarter beats or "quick-slow-slow-very slow"), so inherent staccato complexity. Always dancing 4 steps per measure would be tedious, so create additional complexity by alternating 4 steps per measure with augmented 5 step pattern which sounds like "ca-fé-con-pan-uh" (intervals of 24433 or "quick-slow-slow-medium-medium") and/or reduced 3 step patten which sounds like "ca-con-pan" (intervals of 646 or "very slow-slow-very slow").
Salsa/Cuban music is normally danced using a widely separated embrace and emphasis on fancy dance figures, whereas we require a close embrace for all types of music we play, including salsa. Dancing 4 or 5 steps per 8 beat phrase is the most natural way to dance salsa, because of the dominant rhythms in most salsa music: bass tumbao with stresses on 2.5 (bombo) and 4 (ponche) (intervals of 35 measured in half beats) of each 4 beat measure; son clave with stresses on 1-2.5-4-2-3 (intervals of 33424) of two measure phrase; rumba clave with stresses on 1-2.5-4.5-2-3 (intervals of 34324). Beat 4 (ponche) of bass tumbao is typically allowed to carry over to beat 1 of next measure. Dancing 4 steps per phrase would feel slow for open embrace salsa dancing. Dancing 5 steps per phrase would cause free leg to differ each phrase, considerably increasing the difficulty of combining dance figures into longer sequences. Varying number of steps per phrase is not possible because widely separated embrace does not allow coordination of timing changes between leader and follower. Therefore, salsa dancers normally dance a steady 6 steps per phrase or 3 steps per measure, with great controversy as to beat associated with first step (On1 or On2 or On2.5=OnBombo).
It is perfectly acceptable to dance salsa with 6 steps per phrase at our dance parties. However, because dancing in close embrace feels more comfortable at slower tempos, and because there is no need for an even number of steps per phrase to accommodate combining figures, and because we encourage close connection to music, we recommend the following step rhythms: always step on beat 2.5 (bombo) and beat 4 (ponche), plus either occasionally step on beat 1 to alternate 5 and 4 steps per phrase, or frequently step on beat 1 to alternate 5 and 6 steps per phrase.
Swing and Samba music have inherent staccato complexity, so usually easy to dance with complexity in time to these types of music.
Because many beginners lack sufficient musicality to dance with complexity in time, an alternative is complexity in space, using non-basic/crossed walking system.
We do not have time to teach non-basic/crossed walking system steps in this lesson, but we will demonstrate a few such steps: outside walking to cross; forward ocho; forward ocho cortado; revolving forward ocho; backward ochos; half-giro (half-turn). There are many other non-basic/crossed walking system steps, however the repertoire just listed is sufficient for social dancing. A small repertoire of perfectly performed steps is much better than a large repertoire of poorly performed steps.
Complexity in time is generally incompatible with complexity in space. This is because irregular step timing and irregular acceleration/deceleration, which are the techniques used to create complexity in time, disrupt synchronization and tend to throw the follower off-balance when performing non-basic/crossed walking system steps. However, there is no problem alternating between dancing a few measures with complexity in time, followed by a few measures with complexity in space, and so on.
Dancing with complexity in space typically gives a worse connection to both music and partner than dancing with complexity in time, assuming skilled dancers in both cases. On the other hand, complexity in time might require too much musicality for beginners. Therefore we recommend beginners start with complexity in space. Then possibly replace complexity in space with complexity in time as musicality develops.
We will now present some demonstration dances, to various types of music from tonight's playlist, alternating complexity in time with complexity in space.
Because we do not have enough time in this lesson to teach non-basic/crossed walking system steps, both men and women need to take additional lessons with a professional dance instructor. At the bottom of the lesson transcript on our website [this document] is a list of such instructors. You can take these additional lessons as either individual instruction or same-sex small group lessons. Men almost always need more lessons than women.
For both men and women, be sure to tell the instructor you want to learn to dance in square-shaped close embrace with light apilado. Most dance instructors teach separated embrace to beginner students.
For women, we recommend lessons with at least two different instructors, so you get a feel for different styles of leading. At least one instructor should be a man. Groups of two women students work very well. One student dances with the instructor while the other student watches.
For men, we recommend groups of four men students and one dance instructor. Students practice non-basic/crossed walking system steps with one another, then test leading the instructor while the other students watch. By practicing both leader and follower roles, men learn better what sort of lead is required for followers to follow properly. At least one lesson should be with a man instructor, so men students can experience following a man who knows how to lead properly, and at least one lesson with a woman instructor.
[In Buenos Aires, there is such a thing as "taxi dancers", meaning dance partners who can be hired for dancing similar to how motor vehicle taxis are hired to provide transport. It is common for older Argentine women as well as women tourists to hire young Argentine men as taxi dancers, and for men tourists to hire young Argentine women as taxi dancers. We have no plans to arrange taxi dancers at our events, but we will not interfere with anyone offering taxi dancing services. Taxi dancers are included in the dance instructor list at the bottom of this document.]
We will now begin same-sex practice. So men please line up on one side of the room and pick a partner, women do the same on the other side. We will switch roles every 3 minutes and then switch partners every 6 minutes. We will do same sex practice for 12 minutes, so that everyone leads and follows twice with two different partners.
Both leaders and followers assume the correct posture, approach one another and embrace. Followers should keep their hands elevated slightly, so they do not touch the leader and the only contact is between torsos, where leader's right arm presses against follower's back, and between sides of heads. Followers should also close their eyes to prevent following with the eyes. During dance parties, followers can optionally close their eyes, however it is usually considered better if they keep them open, so as to watch for collisions coming from the leader's rear or his right side blind spot.
Now that couples have embraced, leaders should shift their follower's weight to the closed side of the embrace (leader's right) and take a step to the left. Then rock back to the starting position. After mastering the change weight and side step, try a forward step, followed by rock back. Then try a diagonal forward step with pivot, followed by rock. This diagonal step with pivot allows the leader to glance to his rear. If there is free space to the rear, try a backwards step followed by rock to starting position. Now try several forwards steps in succession. Followers might be expecting more rocks, so when leaders switch to multiple forwards steps in succession, they should put some intention in their steps by pushing with mid-torso, so as to alert followers of the switch from repeated rocking to continuous forwards movement.
Now continue practice dancing until we call to switch roles and/or to switch partners.
This concludes our lesson. Next 30 minutes is for practicing. Organizers will be available to answer questions. Instruction on the dance floor is allowed during this practice period. There are no assigned partners. So if you want to dance with some one, you have to invite them and they have to accept your invitation. This is a social event, and all dancing is by mutual consent. Because some of the regular dancers may arrive early, please try to obey rules of navigation and not interfere with their dancing during this practice period.
Practice dancing is now over and the dance party officially begins. Instruction on the dance floor is no longer allowed. Please follow the rules of dance floor navigation and try to avoid causing traffic jams.
Total of 24 playlists and about 2250 songs, organized into tandas of 1-4 songs, with brief cortina (Spanish for "curtain") of non-dance music between tandas. Vals tandas assigned to 2 playlists (because shortage of Vals tandas), all other tandas assigned to 1 playlist. Total playlist duration (including cortinas) about 5 hours (about 4 hours, if only tango/vals/milonga), so enough for 19:00-23:30 dance party. Playlists can be shortened by deleting tandas. Playlist for current dance party available on our website.
Playlist organization:
Music in playlists available at YouTube, Spotify and other streaming services.
List of dance instructors for additional private or group lessons